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raise your glass – the what, where, how guide to drinking

let us start with WHERE – the 10 best places to get drunk in public around the world followed by WHAT – the 7 must know bar drinks from around the world plus Frommer’s top 10 summer cocktails. as for HOW…i think you probably know how to drink but you may not know how to make a delicious rum punch so find the recipe under HOW!

WHERE:

By CHRIS PLATIS via Off track Planet

best places get drunk 10 Best Places to Get Drunk in Public

When pounding shots of Jack alone in your room isn’t cutting it anymore (we really hope it hasn’t come to that), OTP found you some great places to get drunk in public. There’s nothing like travel for the chance to let your hair down and get your drink on. While the globe is generously sprinkled with a variety of festivals encouraging copious public alcohol intake, know that our international counterparts prefer to focus on the journey (drinking), not the destination (drunk mess). Instead of hurling shots into the gutter, experience public drinking without being a mass nuisance. OTP’s Top 10 options for public inebriation show you where to soak up your surroundings as you sip.

10. Qingdao International Beer Festival Qingdao, China

Qingdao International Beer Festival 10 Best Places to Get Drunk in Public

The sleeper celebration on our list, the Qingdao Festival seems like the typical travel conspiracy: Get the tourists drunk so they buy our crap. This means you can expect overwhelming hospitality – in the form of free beer – from Chinese locals during Asia’s largest beer festival, held over two weeks in mid-August. Everpresent entertainment is just what you’d want to try with Qingdao’s famed Tiger beer blurring the edges. Beautiful women dance on tabletops, drinking competitions offer cash prizes – and need we mention karaoke?

9. The Great American Beer Festival Denver, Colorado

american beer festival 10 Best Places to Get Drunk in Public

If your palate is more provincial (read: American), Denver presents The Great American Beer Festival, established in 1982. Initially featuring 22 breweries competing for the title of ‘America’s Greatest Beer’, 2010’s contest had nearly 500 breweries showcasing 2100 brews of amber liquid sunshine. Your taste buds differ from the next dude; so screw the judges and head on your own sampling spree until you find nirvana. For just $55 per day, the taps promise to keep flowing and ensure your throat is never dry.

8. Tequila Trail Jalisco, Mexico

tequila drunk mexico 10 Best Places to Get Drunk in Public

Dadadadadadada…Tequila! Respect, please, for the beverage that requires no introduction – and certainly no chaser. Made from the blue agave plant, this sparkly spirit is native to the town Tequila, in Jalisco, Mexico. Take a trip down the Tequila trail, home to factories producing the land’s signature beverage. The budget-friendly Tequila Express, bringing you to the doorsteps of Jalisco’s five main tequila-producing communities, includes a guided tour of local cultural and archeological sites, plus plenty of free tastings.  As the day goes on, watch your train ride increase in entertainment value relative to tequila consumption!

7. Mardi Gras New Orleans, Louisiana

MARDI GRAS drunk sexy 10 Best Places to Get Drunk in Public

If you can’t make it to Brazil for Carnaval, grab your glitter and head to New Orleans for Mardi Gras that same week. In case New Orleans doesn’t already heave with musical energy and sexual excess, Mardi Gras literally blows up “Fat Tuesday”. Purple, green and gold floats parade down the narrow streets throwing trinkets while surrounded by masqueraded beauties. Coveted Mardi Gras beads are thrown out as prizes – often as a result of boob-flasher-age. Be warned; be excited.

6. Times Square New York, New York

timesquare new years 10 Best Places to Get Drunk in Public

No matter how often we drink in NYC, the thrill of Times Square has yet to escape our liquored blood. Weekday or holiday, the lights please the sober and completely amaze the drunk.  New York’s best feature is easy transportation, taking you from the famed New Year’s Eve ball-drop to your next destination via subway in a few stumble-y shoves. This melting pot shines with sheer variety, presenting endless entertainment opportunities to the imbibing traveler.

5. Queen’s Day Amsterdam, Holland

Queens day amersterdam 10 Best Places to Get Drunk in Public

Queen’s Day is for drinking in the madness that engulfs the city yearly on April 30. Nearly one million people participate, starting when Amsterdam’s nightlife kicks off Queen’s Night on the 29th and continuing for 24 hours thereafter. While the Night is filled with young adventurous thrill-seekers, the busier Queen’s Day is chaotic, with live music on every corner, in every alley – even on boats. The atmosphere pulses in unison with your hangover, permeating the Heineken haze.

4. Wembley Stadium London, England

drunk fans 10 Best Places to Get Drunk in Public

Few events have a livelier atmosphere than a soccer (er, football) game at Wembley Stadium, near London. Dive into the mass of 90,000 screaming fans, and (with the help of a few beers) inhale the elixir of English life. The original stadium was considered the premier sports venue for decades before its demolition, but 2007’s Version 2.0 is doing a great job filling its soccer spikes. Down your pints, whip off your shirts and chant rhymes hoarsely like a true footie fanatic.

3. St. Patrick’s Day Dublin, Ireland

DUBLIN DRUNK 10 Best Places to Get Drunk in Public

Photo by: Anthony Cronin

The Irish take pride in their highly developed drinking skills and St Paddy’s (March 17th) is their time to shine. Dublin’s world-renowned parade is a display of pride that fuels the unintelligible drinking songs of loud green Irishmen worldwide. Leprechauns crawl the streets to live music and the Guinness stream never ends as the partying stretches for days. OTP Tip:Wear green. Unless you really like physical abuse from inebriated Dubliners.

2. Carnaval Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

carnival rio sexy 10 Best Places to Get Drunk in Public

Rio is the queen of Carnaval celebrations, though this Catholic prelude to Easter is celebrated in many regions of Brazil. The four-day celebration has thousands of Brazilians swarming the streets in elaborate costumes, indulging in all pleasures cachaca and cooch before the arrival of Lent (period of abstinence). With caipirinha in one hand and a sexy Brazilian groping the other, let the banging booze fest begin!

1. Oktoberfest Munich, Germany

oktoberfest funny drunk 10 Best Places to Get Drunk in Public

The infamous Oktoberfest turns 200 this year and as the world’s largest public fair, tops our list. What better place to knock back a few than this Bavarian festival, accommodating nearly 5 million people over two weeks bridging September and October. The streets of Munich flood with tourists stumbling from the fairground’s enormous drinking tents, dressed in sexy lederhosen and dirnds, grasping gallon-sized mugs of foaming German beer. Das very good.

Drinking en masse is thrilling and joyous – and great for bonding with a stranger or two. Just slow your chug a bit, we promise you will want to remember some of this in the morning.

WHAT:

7 Must Know Bar Drinks from Around the World

By ASTAR via Off track Planet

my booze 7 Must Know Bar Drinks from Around the WorldBooze is our escape from the reason and logic bestowed on us by the powers that be. From Pabst to top shelf black labels of this and that, we all have our stories of drinking, getting drunk and doing stupid shit.  We have all done the keg house parties, jungle juice gatherings and endless shot for shot competitions.  At this point, we bet your liver is begging you to stop drinking that purple drank.  Before you give in to its pleas, let us show you how to booze it up just a little more;  this time with style and worldly culture.  OTP presents our lucky list of 7 traditional drinks around the world (and 3 complimenting hangover cures).

Caipirinha

(lime wedges, granulated sugar and Sagatiba Pura)

Acclaimed as the national drink of Brazil (what is ours? Budweiser maybe?), this sugary cocktail contains cachaca, a rum-like liquor with a sad, but true, history.  Brought over by Portuguese settlers, cachaca was given to slaves to increase productivity (seems counter-productive but sure why not?). After slavery was outlawed in 1888, all Brazilians began whipping these suckers up for themselves to enjoy.  The Caipirinha pairs well with a white linen shirt, coconutty sunscreen and a lay on a warm Brazilian beach.

 7 Must Know Bar Drinks from Around the WorldSangria

(bottle of wine, sliced fruit, honey, triple sec and a big pitcher)

The jungle juice of Spain, this beverage is traditionally enjoyed in groups (hence the pitcher).  Since wine in Spain is insanely cheap (we’re talking less than a dollar per bottle, even cheaper for a box if you’re really scrounging), this drink is quite popular among the backpacking elite.  The type of wine used and the fruit thrown inside vary regionally, with the red (“sangre” or blood in Spanish) version being the most popular.

Single Malt Scotch 7 Must Know Bar Drinks from Around the WorldSingle Malt Scotch

(single-malt, nothing else needed)

The “single” part means only one grain (barley) is used.  To “malt” means to allow barley to germinate (thank you Keith).  The “scotch” part, well that’s the most important.  Single malt scotch is ONLY considered such if it is made in Scotland and aged for no less than three years.  If you’re man (woman) enough, we dare you to gather up some hostelmates and go on one of these distillery tours.  Pricing is specific to your group’s size and preferences.  The tour includes a designated driver.  One thing for sure, all of you will leave smelling like drunken Scotsmen (and women).

080807 cocktails bcol1p.vmedium 7 Must Know Bar Drinks from Around the WorldElephant’s Ear

(Marula Tree Juice, Mangos for garnish)

The presentation of this one is the key.  A South African classic, this drink is traditionally served with two ear-shaped dried mango pieces attached to your glass.  Why elephants? The symbolism lies in that various animals, including elephants, eat the fruit of the Marula tree regularly.  The tree bears fruit with a high alcoholic content which often makes the animals drunk as hell.  We don’t know how you feel, but we think this guy needs to go to AAA (animal alcoholics anonymous) pronto.

The Pisco Sour

(Pisco, lime juice, egg whites, simple syrup and bitters)

You put “sour” after any word and it sounds like you have drink ordering authority; it’s very James Bondish. This Peruvian drink wields so much power that it has a national holiday (National Pisco Sour Day happens the first Saturday of February).  Mostly a great excuse to get the entire nation drunk, this holiday celebrates the concoction and its rebellious origins.  In the 1700s, Spanish colonialists brought the grape to Peru.  During that time, making wine was prohibited.  People came up with prohibition era uses for grapes that weren’t quite wine but still had a high enough alcoholic content to keep people happily intoxicated.  Pisco (a brandy-like grape liquor) was born and became Peru’s local drink of choice.

pisco sour 7 Must Know Bar Drinks from Around the World

Samagonka Vodka

(ingredients: the devil and his friends)

Russians drink vodka, not a big surprise and this type of vodka is the most authentic of all.  Forget Absolute and Stolichnaya, Samagonka is the general name for vodka that has been distilled in a basement . . . at home . . . from potatoes.  Most retailers in Russia will not carry it, so to get a taste you have to put your social skills to work.  Old Russian men will always have at least a liter of this stuff sitting around.  Befriend one and you will be taking shots with the pros (and chasing those shots with pickles and cold cuts) in no time.  If you get really friendly, please refer to the conveniently provided hangover cures at the end of this article.

Mojito

(Mint, Rum, Sugar, Lime and Soda)

Cubans are brilliant!  Their national cocktail is both a breath-freshener (all that mint) and a panty-dropper (inhibitions cannot withstand this sweet liquid rum candy).  We hail it the perfect hook-up drink.  The name has been rumored to mean two different things.  One interpretation comes from the Spanish word for “a little wet” (well that’s suggestive) and the other is from an African word for “a little spell”.  Either way, we’re pretty sure the mojito is how Ricky got Lucy.

3 Hangover Cures

Bloody Mary

(shot of vodka, tomato juice, celery stick, squeeze of lemon, few shakes of cayenne pepper)

A drink to cure a hangover? Can’t be true.  The infamous breakfast Bloody Mary contains tomato juice which is rumored to dilute the ouchy effects of a bad hangover (the spicy cayenne is there to kick you in the balls so you reconsider overdrinking next time).  Invented by a French guy in New York, this drink combines the tomato and “hair of the dog” hangover cures and is sure to have you on your way to recovery (or perpetual drunken “I don’t give a shit” world).

Sleep

Need to get from Brazil (where you had one too many Caipirinhas) to Peru (to celebrate National Pisco Sour Day)?  Book the longest red-eye bus ride available.  This way, not only are you saving money by taking the turtle route, you sleep the entire time and the hangover becomes yesterday’s news.  Employ these safety techniques while you snooze the booze away and you’ll be golden.

Water

Hard to do when alcohol is safer than water in third world countries but a must to cure your dehydrated partied-out self.  Most bottled water is fine so buy in bulk and drink at least 16 oz before going to bed post-party.  This is also a great time to whip out those water-purifying tablets we told you about.  Stay moist friends.

Between the cheap beers and boxed wine, that random jungle juice and straight shots, give these traditional drinks a try in their countries of origin.  Chances are their American versions pale in comparison and you get no bragging rights for drinking mojitos at your local boozery (like you would if you had one on a beach in Copacabana).

also see: A Global Guide to Cocktails & Summer Drinks

Frommer’s take on the who’s who of drinks from around the globe and where you should have them shaken or stirred!

By Melinda Quintero via Frommer’s

HOW:

vanilla mojito

Vanilla Mojito

1 ¾ oz. Stolichnaya Vanilla Vodka
Drop of simple syrup
12 mint leaves
Soda water
Lime slice, for garnish

Muddle mint leaves and simple syrup in the bottom of a cocktail shaker. Add vodka and ice, shake vigorously, and pour (with ice) into a chilled tall or Collins glass. Fill glass with additional ice, top with soda water, and garnish with a slice of lime.

Rum Punch
1 ¼ oz. Rhum St. Barths (Cool style)
½ oz. Triple Sec
1 oz. cranberry juice
1 oz. pineapple juice
1 oz. fresh orange juice
Drop of grenadine
Rhum St. Barths (Chic style)
Pineapple and cherry flag, for garnish

Add first five ingredients to a cocktail shaker filled with ice. Shake vigorously, and strain into a Hurricane glass filled with ice. Add drop of grenadine, top with Rhum St. Barths (Chic) and garnish with a pineapple and cherry flag.

vodka fizz

Vodka Fizz

1 ¾ oz. Stolichnaya Vodka
1 ¾ oz. lemon juice
Drop of simple syrup
Drop of Blue Curacao
Soda water
Cherry, for garnish

Add vodka, lemon juice, simple syrup and Blue Curacao to a cocktail shaker filled with ice. Shake vigorously, and strain into a Collins glass filled with ice. Top with soda water, and garnish with a cherry.

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top 10 coolest music venues around the world

i gotta confess – i am totally digging a new find for travel info: Off track Planet. they are resourceful, hilarious & clearly having tons of fun. if you haven’t discovered them yet i recommend subscribing to them or following them on twitter OR do both like me and never miss a funny quip.

*disclaimer: their language is R rated. another reason to love them if you ask me!

by CHRIS PLATIS via Off track Planet [twitter-follow screen_name= ‘offtrackplanet’]

musicfeat Top 10 Coolest Music Venues Around the WorldPhoto by: Bp1 @ blogspot

Hostel-shower acoustics can only go so far and those boxed-in music venues aren’t any better. If you like your tunes live and loud, these spots turn the decibels way up. Pack a lighter, hop on the OTP tour bus and raise a bottle to toast the Top 10 Coolest Music Venues Around the World.

slane Top 10 Coolest Music Venues Around the WorldPhoto by: 2c..

As intoxicating as the hardcore Irish Whisky they make on-site, Slane Castle has served as Ireland’s biggest outdoor venue since the big hair days of 1981. Situated along the River Boyne (about an hour outside of Dublin), the castle grounds form a natural amphitheater with room for 80,000 loyal subjects. The potential for massive crowds attracts big-name bands, and Slane keeps it loud with studio-quality sound. Don’t try to sneak in by swimming across the Boyne, though—plenty of tune junkies have failed trying to get that hit of free music.

ber Top 10 Coolest Music Venues Around the WorldPhoto by: rmayda

Formerly techno-king Tresor, this 250,000 square foot ex-power plant is Berlin’s new hotspot for underground music. Modem once pumped electricity to all of East Berlin, but a lineup of world-class dj’s now light up crowds to dance like they’re stomping down that wall all over again. Avoid dead air between sets by exploring the random control rooms and Cold War contraptions lining the walls.

red Top 10 Coolest Music Venues Around the WorldPhoto by: libbipeters

Mother Nature apparently knows a thing or two about cool music venues.  Not only is Red Rocks an incredible park, it’s a naturally occurring amphitheater that hosts sick performers spanning all genres, from the Flaming Lips to Kenny Chesney. This Colorado stage is sandwiched between two 300-foot sandstone rocks, making these vibrating acoustics the best sound-stress your eardrums will ever have to endure. The scenery and the sound make Red Rocks a prime candidate for live CD and DVD releases, so get your 15 minutes of fame by maintaining that painful scream, even during silences.

fest Top 10 Coolest Music Venues Around the WorldPhoto by: Elli-pixx

Festhalles (festival halls) are all over the country, but Frankfurt outfests the best fest in Germany. When this shit was built over a century ago, it had the largest dome in Europe and these days, the Willy Wonka glass ceiling is all the rave. This festhalle isn’t hip to security, so feel free to sneak in your own food and booze.

Untitled 1 Top 10 Coolest Music Venues Around the WorldPhoto by: Mezzoforte1977

Ahoy party people! Docked in Budapest’s cold Danube waters, head-bobbers, booty-shakers and fist-pumpers get in the groove seven nights a week on the lower deck of the A38, an old boat that used to haul coal. Once you’ve got your sea-legs and your stomach starts to growl, hit up the top deck restaurant. Their signature rooster stew is mixed with little tiny bird balls—just in case the party on a mother-fucking boat wasn’t crazy enough.

syd Top 10 Coolest Music Venues Around the WorldPhoto by: jimmyharris

This award-winning arts building is to Australia what the Eiffel Tower is to France. Don’t let the fancy-pants name fool you—the Pussycat Dolls are as likely to play this venue as Mozart wannabes. The Opera House pleases a variety of music-munchers by hosting a wide range of performances and events in tons of different rooms, halls and theaters. The many bars, cafes and restaurants on the complex grounds are great places to sloppily stuff your face while gracefully patronizing “The Opera.”

paradis Top 10 Coolest Music Venues Around the WorldPhoto by: Wouter Kiel

This 19th century church in Amsterdam traded God for sex, drug and rock n’ roll hell in 1967. We have a group of squatting hippies to thank for this sinfully superior transformation. Today, the Paradiso packs three solid floors of counterculture and is the promised land for artists like Arcade Fire and TV on the Radio.

02 Top 10 Coolest Music Venues Around the WorldPhoto by: ukroni

Located on the grounds of the 2012 Olympics, the O2 Arena is Madison Square Garden’s British cousin, bringing home the gold for massive crowds of 20,000. Once the dilapidated Millennium Dome, the O2 is now the most popular music venue in the world, with queens like Britney, Rihanna and Katy Perry reigning on high.

dal Top 10 Coolest Music Venues Around the WorldPhoto by: owt

Summertime in Sweden can be sound-tracked at the Dalhalla amphitheater.  Dalhalla was the Norse equivalent of Greek Olympus, and the namesake for this limestone venue that sits atop Lake Siljan. A rockin’ place made entirely of rocks, the crowd at Dalhalla is separated from the stage by a thin moat, so bring a board if you intend to crowd surf.

blue Top 10 Coolest Music Venues Around the WorldPhoto by: Scott Norsworthy

Once dominated by a cheesy Hard Rock Café franchise, Mumbai’s live music scene leapt to new heights with the Blue Frog. Catch some authentic Indian performances, or hit up a show featuring top-name international dj’s such as Armin van Buuren or Infected Mushroom. When you’re all hopped-out on the dance floor, take a breather on their lilypad-like lounge seating.

A great venue (amongst other things) highly enhances the live music experience. Indoors, out on land or water, these places make even the shittiest performances sound decent—regardless of what song you get stuck in your head for the walk home.

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up, up and away – today is airplane day!

so you are taking a trip. here are some tips on how to pass time in the airport should you be waylaid or how to potentially set yourself up for an upgrade (hint: look sharp – it makes a difference)! also, see your “passenger bill of rights” and proper airplane etiquette – trust me, it’ll make everyone happy if we all abide by these rules.

5 Things to Do When You’re Stuck at the Airport

By ASTAR via Off track Planet

stuck airport 5 Things to Do When You’re Stuck at the Airport

There is no getting around it: You will get stuck at an airport at some point in your travels. Instead of throwing a shit fit and kicking the nearest inanimate object, here are a few things you can do to entertain yourself.

Play Airport Gourmet

airport food court 5 Things to Do When You’re Stuck at the Airport

Use your meal budget to gather random items from airport food places to put together a culinary airport masterpiece. Think Chopped meets Supermarket Sweep. While this isn’t a great way to get to know local cuisine (as the airport stocks items aimed at tourists), it does take up an exorbitant amount of time. Start off with finding the perfect appetizer (perhaps a cracker and cheese combo) and move on through desert (you can melt down marshmallows with a lighter to make frosting). It will be gross, delicious and fun.

Carry a Deck of Cards

Other backpackers will most likely be stuck in your vicinity. Find one, whip out your deck of cards and learn a new game. One game OTP learned abroad is Egyptian Rat Screw (from an American but that’s not the point). Different countries play interesting card games and later, when you are no longer anxiously awaiting takeoff, you can share your vast knowledge with international hostelmates, maybe add a little booze to the card game, maybe some stripping.

Write About Your Travels

laptop airport 5 Things to Do When You’re Stuck at the AirportPhoto by: Sagie

Whether you’re travel blogging or just documenting, use this downtime for your advantage while your memory of the recent places you visited is still fresh. If you can get your mind together, you can earn some cash while sitting around at the terminal. Just had a wild night in Rio? Maybe saw something incredible in Dubai? Got arrested in Singapore for smuggling poppy seed bagels (sorry)? People like Nomadic Matt, the writers at Matador and countless others have cashed in on such experiences. Starting a travel blog (or contributing to an existing one) is a great way to document your travels and maybe even make some beer money. Check out Anil Polat’s (the creator of Foxnomad, a very popular travel blog) Travel Blog Advice page to learn how to get started.

Prank Your Travel Partner

This one only applies if you happen to be stuck with a friend (or more likely a person that was a friend at some point but has been sneezing, farting and snoring in your face for a month changing his/her status to annoying acquaintance). This is what you do: go to the bathroom and come out with the look of utter shock. Say you met a guy in there that told you this airport was rigged with hidden CIA cameras, EVERYWHERE and that he said the cameras are watching the two of you specifically. This bathroom guy even told you what you were reading at the newsstand 10 minutes before you had to pee, shocking. Then sit back and watch your travel partner go apeshit with paranoia for hours. Effective, entertaining and nobody gets hurt (physically).

Drink Drink Drink

airport bar1 5 Things to Do When You’re Stuck at the Airport

We all know time passes gently when booze are involved. The airport is well aware of this and has set up various liquoring holes to numb your waiting pain. While sipping a few brews is fine by us, getting wasted at the airport isn’t in your best interest. Sure blacking out would solve the waiting problem but more than anything, it makes you a target for petty theft and a magnet for airport security. Remember that even though you are at the airport, you’re still in a different country with varying standards of acceptance in the drunk-in-public department. Relax, just don’t be a douche.

FYI, The Best Airport to Be Stuck In…

hong kong airport 5 Things to Do When You’re Stuck at the Airport

Consider yourself lucky if you have to spend some time at Hong Kong International Airport. Unlike any other airplane receptacle in the world, this place has a 4D theater, Playstation getaway and an aviation discovery center (where you can pretend to fly a plane in their cockpit simulator). You would have to try really hard to be bored here.

Stuck is a state of mind. Your travels will always come with setbacks. Use this newly freed up time to your advantage.

looking for an upgrade? how to dress the part

Fly Guy: Do well-dressed fliers get more perks? By George Hobica, Airfarewatchdog.com

When a friend of mine checked in for a recent flight from San Francisco to Vancouver, he was surprised that the Air Canada gate agent handed him a first class boarding pass. What was so unusual about this? Several things: He had bought an economy class ticket. He rarely flies on Air Canada and thus has no frequent-flier status on the airline. Even more unusual, the flight was half empty so this wasn’t an oversell upgrade situation. So why the extra love?

I, too, was upgraded recently on a United flight from LAX to New York, and I, too, was wearing a suit (if I’m going on a business trip, I wear my suit on the plane, in part because I don’t want it to take up too much room in my carry on). I only have 80,000 lifetime miles in United’s MileagePlus program, and before you say, “Yeah, but they know who you are,” trust me, they don’t.

Not wanting to look the proverbial gift horse in the mouth, I didn’t ask the gate agent why I was upgraded from a frequent-flier economy-class seat all the way through business class and up to first class. In fact, when I heard my name over the PA system my heart skipped several beats because I assumed that the flight was oversold and I was being bumped, owing to my lack of status. But I’m going to guess it was because I was the only person in the waiting area who wasn’t dressed like I was about to head off to the gym.

‘You can’t fly on Concorde! You’re not wearing a tie!’ 

Think this is nonsense? Well, not really. For a couple of years in the 1980’s just before they went belly up, I worked as a consultant for Eastern Airlines. As such, each month I was given a stack of flight coupons. I’d just make a reservation and hand one of these coupons over at the ticket counter and I could fly anywhere in the Eastern system for free, in first class no less. One evening I was flying to Boston and was curious to see that the agent handed me a seat in economy. “Is first class full?” I meekly inquired. “The way you’re dressed, you don’t even deserve to fly at all,” he scolded. What was my sin? I was wearing a suit and a nice pair of shoes, but had taken off my tie. Into economy I went.

Another time I was booked in business class on British Airways from Heathrow to New York. Due to an air traffic controller slowdown, my flight and virtually all others were canceled. But I convinced the company to put me on the one flight that was still operating, which happened to be on the Concorde. I approached the ticket counter and explained that I was authorized to fly supersonic. “You can’t fly on Concorde!” the agent barked at me. “You’re not wearing a tie!” True story. Luckily, this time I had a tie in my carry on. “One sec,” I replied. I ducked down behind the counter, quickly repaired my wardrobe malfunction, popped back up and said, “Can I have my boarding pass now?” And off I flew.

If we have to dress up, why don’t the passengers? 

For many years, airline employees were required to dress nicely if they were flying on a pass. Women were required to wear a skirt and a blouse, and men at least a sport coat and tie, or in some cases a suit. The rules were especially strict for first class travel. No jeans. No sneakers. No tie, no service.

Although most airlines have relaxed these rules, there are a lot of employees who remember the old days. And perhaps they figure, if we had to dress well to fly, what’s up with all the passengers who get to sit in first class dressed like Richard Simmons? It’s a bit ironic that these days when you fly first class on British Airways and many airlines, they give you a pair of pajamas to change into.

And although I don’t recommend that you show up at the airport in your pj’s, it’s entirely up to you how you dress, and I do understand that flying is often uncomfortable and many folks want to make the flight as pleasant as possible.

But everything else being equal (same frequent flier status, etc.), when a flight is oversold in economy and the airline needs to upgrade someone, are they going to choose the passenger in the tank top or the one wearing the nice dress or suit? You already know the answer, (but as always, it doesn’t hurt to be extra nice to any staff you should encounter).

PASSENGERS’ AIRPLANE BILL OF RIGHTS

by lonelyplanet

Article I: The right to remove shoes

Passengers shall be allowed to remove shoes from their feet, but only if the aforementioned feet don’t stink or present health risks to other passengers. The right of the passenger to go to the lavatory without shoes shall not be infringed, as it is really your own business should you want to stand in the urine of others.

Article II: Freedom from unreasonable aromatic assault

No passenger shall, in the time of flight, be subjected to unreasonable aromas, be it from powerful perfume, foods redolent of onion, or other fragrance wholly unnecessary whilst on an airplane.

Article III: The right to reasonable light

All passengers shall be allowed the right to use their own overhead light to read when the cabin lights are turned off, as that is its intended use. No passenger shall be unwillingly bothered by the thoughtless opening of window shades during this period; window seat passengers are not delegated the power to blind their fellow passengers.

Article IV: The article of reclension

A well-justified act of reclining one’s seat shall not be prohibited at all times, apart from meal time and other times specified by the flight crew. All instances of reclension shall be preceded by a rearward glance so as not to unwittingly crush the patellas or portable electronic devices of the affected passenger.

Article V: Freedom of no speech

There shall be no requirement for other passengers to listen to you drone on about your child, cat or other subject not directly germane to an immediate inflight emergency situation. The right of other passengers to give you the ‘book-off’ shall not be infringed, nor shall you assist with the answer to 14-across if unprompted.

Article VI: The right to bear armrests

In all cases where an armrest is shared by two adjacent passengers, both parties must respect the right of the other to keep the armrest down. Passengers relegated to a middle seat shall be afforded special status, and aisle and window passengers shall endeavour to accommodate.

Article VII: Conditions of passenger quarters

Passengers shall not be subject to the rubbish of others crammed thoughtlessly into seat-back pockets, or tossed onto the floor in a cavalier fashion. Chewing gum shall not be pressed to any surface affixed to an aircraft.

Article VIII: The right to heed the call of nature

A well-organised attempt to use the lavatory, being necessary for inflight calm and gastrointestinal health, shall not be impeded by aisle passengers sleeping or otherwise. The rights of others waiting to use a lavatory shall supersede the frankly ill-advised wishes of current lavatory users to waste time poking around said lavatory.

Article IX: Provisions concerning use of electronic devices

The assurance of safety shall not be infringed by the desires of others to make one last phone call, update their social network status to brag about their impending holiday, or to plant cauliflower in their virtual farm. Whilst MythBusters and others have debunked most potential dangers of using common electronic devices on planes, safety and calm shall take precedence.

Article X: Cruel and unnecessary aisle clogging

No passenger shall, in the time of disembarking, hastily grab their bag and congest the exit route before actual movement is possible. Likewise, when it comes time to exit, no passenger shall unaccountably act surprised that it is their turn to leave.

Article XI: Freedom from feral children

The right of passengers not to be kicked in the back, have their hair pulled, be presented with unasked-for mucous-moistened objects, or be otherwise assaulted by feral children shall not be infringed. Crying babies cannot be held accountable for their actions, and are therefore exempt.

Article XII: The right of reasonable alcohol consumption

No person, apart from those who are drunk and obnoxious or minors, shall be prohibited from imbibing an alcoholic beverage should they feel that it is a good idea, despite all indications to the contrary.

Article XIII: The right to private media

Reading over others’ shoulders shall not be inflicted, unless achieved in a particularly stealthy fashion causing no annoyance to the book holder. The same shall be true for films and other non-private media.

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continuing education – global street smarts

Off track Planet breaks down some “critical” info you will need to know when traveling around the world: drinking, marijuana and sex laws plus other streetwise statistics.

now go have some fun within the legal limits you crazy kids!

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